This morning, like every morning, Lorraine

smiled. Today, she wanted to know how I slicked

my hair back soooooooooooo sleek. I told her

the first time I slicked my hair back I was 17.

I disclosed to Lorraine that I’ve forced my hair

back and up, topknotafterknot, so many times

now, my hair is trained. How the hard side of

my brush is an absolute atrocity. A reliable,

mean block of buildup. I told Lorraine, if its got

a stick thick enough to keep loose hair caught

in the bristles, that brush has seen some things

and works good. Once, I used half a pack of

bobby pins, two shoelaces, and three ponytails

to achieve a desired look. I broke a comb, rued

myself, and only cried once. Then, twice I took

two extra strength tylenol for pain, smoked some

weed, and walked around with my face all lifted.

The tension gave me bumps and I scratched

myself with the lead side of a pencil all day. I told

Lorraine, how I only use products that guarantee

an extreme hold. I like the flammable pink freeze

spray, and the edge control with a purple lid.

POOL PLAYERS